I was offically in survival mode. That meant pooling together my physical, mental and emotional resources so I could focus on what was to come and I was still a mother.
Joshua needed help coping with his father's and my divorce. I had to help him deal with the emotions raging through his heart, what if he lost me to cancer, as well?
All things eventually fell into a familiar routine. Surgery, radiation and mothering. Trust me when I say, thoughts of finding love, let alone romance, were buried deep within my cerebral cortex.
Okay, maybe thoughts of l'amour entered my mind, but fleetingly.
As the years passed something happened to the permafrost roosting on my heart, it began to thaw. With the thawing came a yearning. I'd survived cancer, raised my son and now I was "ready" emotionally to give love a go. But, did it exist for me? I was 45 and damaged...was it possible?
During those "healing years" I focused on writing poetry. I joined one poetry site after another, leaving little bits and pieces of me everywhere. I can honestly say, besides loving my son, poetry was and is a passion.
One of the sites I joined was FanStory. However, I let a couple years pass before I returned and actually started participating as a full member in 2011.
To whet my appetite, I started reading and reviewing. One poem after another I read and critiqued.
Why "His" poetry settled into my heart I don't know, but it did. Could be what impressed me was the very "Human" aspects of his poem. It wasn't flashy or wordy, but real and relatable. It touched the marrow in my bones, that deep, so I left a review.
In return he reviewed one of my poems, leaving behind a beautiful critique. I'd been trying to write with substance and meaning of late, you know the sort of poetry which invites the reader to linger amid your words. It must have worked, because he loved what he read.
Before I knew it, I was getting more and more reviews from Dave. So naturally, as things are in the writing world, I started following his poetry. He had a way with words. Oh my, my, my, Medusa would have shed her hair of snakes and quivered with delight if he'd wrote poetry for her.
What? Was that a spark I felt igniting in my "Frozen" heart?
Seven years had passed since I'd put romance on the back burner. To say I was rusty is putting it mildly. I questioned those "Romantic" feelings for a time. Even when he started writing poetry for me, specifically.
Sly and smart! He was romancing me with poetry. I was scared and excited at the same time.
Before long we were texting, then calling one another, love was blooming. He was wooing me, stoking the flame within me and it felt so, so, sweet.
Woohoo, the ice had melted and I could "Love" once more.
Oh how a year flies by. It's been almost a year that Oklahoma and Michigan have been together. The romance is great, but more importantly, love is our anchor.
Who'd have thought a 46 year old woman and a 54 year old man would find their "Soulmate" via a poetry site? What am I saying? Poetry is a strong aphrodisiac when coupled with romance!
I'm so in love with Dave. Each waking moment and each hour that ends the day, he's in my thoughts. My body might be damaged, but our love isn't.
Thank you sweetheart for romancing me first with words, then your heart and soul. I love you.